A Little Black Dot Among a Whole Bunch of White Ones

I'm hoping to find the words for this post as I type it because I am still speechless, but probably not for the reason that you think. I went to Passion 2012 this week, and it was amazing! 44,000 people coming together to praise the name of Jesus Christ- that is amazing, incredible, inspiring. To hear all of the voice singing praise to King of Kings, there is nothing like it. I got a lot out of the conference, learned a lot, sang a lot (my voice still isn't completely back yet haha), had a lot of time with the group I was with, talked a lot, drank a lot of coffee, etc. But much like the last time I went somewhere for a conference, I've been able to feel God more now that I'm back home- and it's weird because for most people, it's the other way around (but when am I known to do normal things the normal way around? haha). And I think one of the points God has made to me both this time and the last time I was at a conference, is that I don't need a conference for a spiritual high, I don't need a conference for Him to consume me with all that He is. If I allow Him to come and do His work, then He will. Last night though, for me, was absolutely incredible, and it was spent just me and God.
I was laying in my bed watching NCIS (haha what else would I be watching :P), and right as the episode I was watching started, I could feel God calling. "Morgan, turn off the TV and come to me." I had planned on doing some Jesus time when the episode ended, so I didn't rush to jump in. I laid there a little bit longer, and could still feel his calling. I decided that the episode wasn't in fact one of my favorites, so I turned the tv off, and basically for 10-15min I did everything to avoid God, and I really don't know why. I got on facebook, I got here on my blog, I read another friend's blog post from a few days earlier, I checked my email. And finally, I gave in, and spent some time with God. I opened my Bible a read a little, and I had Awakening and Like an Avalanche playing in the background, and suddenly, I found myself soooooooo consumed with God. Consumed with His Love like I've never been before. I found myself sitting on bed with no words. There are no words to tell God how amazing and incredible He is because even those words can't portray it all. And tears began to stream down my face. I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry, I was simply so joyful to sit in His presence and be Consumed with Him. I spent more time in the Word, and in speechless prayer. And what I found God saying was "I Love You." "I Chose You."
I found myself spot of realizing that nothing compares to God's love. Yeah, I knew that, but to truly experience it, was incredible. The picture God gave me was this, if I were to take pen, and in the air of my room place a dot anywhere, just one single dot, that would represent the love anyone on this planet will ever have for me. And then, if I completely filled the rest of the room with white dots, that is a representation of how much bigger God's love for me is that anyone's love here. God's love is all of the white dots, His Love is HUGE! and everyone's liking of me is that one little black one. In a conversation back in October, I was talking to someone about relationships and such, and I said that one of the reasons I wasn't in a relationship was because I knew that there were things in my life that needed to be fixed before I could take that next step. And I realized last night that this was one of those things. I have never felt and been consumed with God's love, and thus, if I had already been dating someone, I could very easily make them more of a priority than God because their love would be more tangible. God's love is tangible in a way, especially when you are so consumed with it's beauty that nothing else exists.
God's love is like an avalanche, it's like a massive fire, it's indescribable.