Not Understanding

Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” –John 13:7 Jesus said these words to Peter right before He washed his feet, right before they enjoyed their last meal together, right before the anguish of Jesus would cause Him to sweat blood in the garden, right before Jesus would be arrested, tried, beaten, and crucified. And these words have been ringing in my ears for days. “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

How many times lately have I wanted to throw my hands in the air and go, “Just forget it, find someone else. I can’t do anything, and all of my plans lately keep getting messed up.” I’ve watched myself go from Plan A to Plan B to Plan C, if you even want to call it Plan C. Personally, I’m hesitant to call it Plan C because a) these plans don’t seem to want to work out b)It’s not really a plan; it’s a vague idea of how maybe things will work out, I’m refusing to plan again.

And Jesus is right, I don’t understand right now. There’s a lot I don’t understand, but I don’t understand because I can’t see the bigger picture. But I know that one day, I’ll be able to understand it all, and I will be able to look back and say, “Yeah, it made no sense at the time and I was beginning to get frustrated, but in the end, look at the beautiful picture that was created and that only could have been created this way.” And all along the way, Jesus whispering in my ear, “Do you trust me? Do you trust that I know what’s best?” And if I trust Him, then I have to keep pushing forward and praying that His Will be done.